...you answer the phone by saying 'allo, allo, allo' before giving the caller a chance to respond.
…when crossing the street, you sprint.
…in winter, you choose your route by determining which icicles are least likely to impale you in the head.
...you win a shoving match with an old babushka for a place in line and you are proud of it.
...you are pleasantly surprised when there is toilet paper in the WC at work.
......you're not sure what to do when the GAI (traffic cop) only asks you to pay the official fine.
...you wonder what the tax inspector really wants when she says everything is in order.
...you plan your vacation around those times of the year when the hot water is turned off.
...you change into tapki (slippers) and wash your hands as soon as you walk into ...your apartment.
...you think metal doors are a necessity.
...you don't feel guilty about not paying on the trolleybus.
...the elevator aroma seems reassuring somehow.
...you can heat water on the stove and shower with it in less than 10 minutes.
...you bring your own scale and calculator to the market to make sure the amount you are charged is correct.
…When that strange pungent mix of odours of stale sawdust, sweat and grime in the metro makes you feel safe and at home...
...you get excited when the dentist smiles and has all his own teeth.
...you do your shopping at kiosks.
...you voluntarily take a stroll in the park, Baltika beer in hand, on a sub-zero day.
...you laugh at Russian jokes.
...you actually get these jokes.